“When for the kids?”,” And the second, third … fifth want?”,” You have a girl, now for her son!”. Everywhere tactless people who always make their nose not in their own business. It never occurred to them that one such question can be a real blow for a lonely girl who dreams of meeting her love and become a mother. For those who have been fighting infertility for many years or consciously choose to live without children. Let’s figure out why a woman is not obliged to give birth.
Reason No. 1 – medical
In 2018, statistics caught my eye: in our country for 100 thousand women from 18 to 49 years old, 274 – infertility. That is, there is a great chance that your interlocutor wants, but cannot have children. Every time you open your mouth to ask: “When behind the baby?” – Think. You show not just tactlessness and non -boss, but also cruelty.
Reason No. 2 – mental
Suppose a woman does not want children. Her body is her business. She has the right to solve herself. And there is nothing terrible in that. For demography, of course, not very, but nothing – those who want and can do it.
Reason No. 3 – evolutionary
Now they give birth later, especially in large cities. The trend comes from European countries. Get to your feet first, then create a family, buy housing, and only then –
children.
In addition, loneliness has become an acute problem in the world of online. The pandemic aggravated the situation. Young (and not so) people are sitting home and suffer from loneliness. And then a neighbor, aunt or a “kind” classmate climbs with questions about personal and children. Unpleasant.
Reason No. 4 – financial
Children are very expensive, I tell you as a mother. And it is logical that many are afraid to take such responsibility. Of course, state support measures to help, but you are not very good at them.
Reason No. 5 – Fashion for childlessness
Yes, the Childfri community are few, but they are quite active in propaganda.
What to do if you are constantly asked tactless questions about children?
Learn to defend personal boundaries. For example:
“I will not answer this question, I consider it too personal”
“And for what purpose are you interested in?”
“Tell me, when you are behind the third, fifth, tenth. “
Most likely, your answer will cause indignation. But the asking person will remember that you better not go to you. From the point of view of psychology, tactless questions are asked by those who have a strong inner critical parent. They teach lives, give advice, condemn – not only you, but themselves.
Some ask out of curiosity, being in the position of “I am a child” for whom (supposedly!) there are no forbidden topics. Such people love to be offended. But you should not feel guilty for not having consistent with someone else’s expectations. The higher the degree of your self -confidence, the less intrusions of strangers in your life.
Finishing this article, I want to wish everyone to be more sensitive to others. Instead of idle questions, make a person a compliment and wish good luck.
As for my motherhood, this is the best that happened in my life. At the same time, I am terribly annoyed by the question: “You want more children?»I want happiness, love and a nearby harmonious people who do not stick their nose to where it is not worth it.